Jeffrey McLarty

I want a tool where I can quickly look at, show, and share cash flows, graphically.  I want to be able to manipulate them, create annuities, both growing, shrinking, positive and negative, show better than expected, worse than expected, add risk and possibility of outliers events, etc. etc. I think if North Americans better understood cash flows and more specifically, the present value of money - they could be all more well off.  That’s the only trick to getting rich.  Folks, a dollar today IS NOT the same as a dollar tomorrow.

I want to be able to quickly draw up and down arrows for projects, ideas, opportunities, investments, budgeting, etc.

I’m going to add this to the long list of things I want to program for myself.  Maybe I’ll make a website out of it.  Maybe I’ll create a website to help entrepreneurs pitch ideas.  Maybe families could use it, or investors could network and share experiences as well as invest in each others projects.  Maybe discount brokerage firms pick this up to help clients manage more than just their security holdings.

Maybe nothing will come of this idea, and it will end here and now - then again, maybe it won’t.

There’s a lesson in here somewhere, in marketing, or honesty or something…whatever.  This was about two years ago.

My house phone number was previously used in an erroneous advertisement for a bike shop.  I got so annoyed, I started screwing with the callers that didn’t say either “Hello, my name is” or give some other form of polite introduction. Here is one of my favorite phone calls, I remember:

Ring…Ring…

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Do you do Bike Tune-Ups?”

Me: “That depends, I could probably do it”

Caller: (Slightly confused by my lack of confidence) “Well, how’s that work? What are your prices?”

Me: “I’ll need a spoke count to get you an accurate quote, and it depends on why the bike needs tuning”

Caller: “Okay, I can count ‘em, the bike’s right here - is the front usually the same as the back?”

Me: “Rarely, you normally have to count both tires”

Caller: “Oh, Okay - no problem - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4…6 - 8 - 10 - 12…”

Me - covering the phone, and laughing OUTLOUD.

Caller: “…Front has 32, back has 32″ (I forget the real numbers, but they were the same)

Me: “Oh, really, that’s strange that they are the same - where did you get THIS bike - that’s going to cost extra”

Caller: “Why does it cost extra?”

Me: “Oh, well, if they are the same we have to label them, so we don’t mix them up.”

Caller: “Oh okay, well, can you give me a quote now?”

Me: “I told you it depends, on why the bike needs tuning?”

Caller: “What?”

Me: “Yah, I saw this one time, a bike that came in, with a bent frame after the owner got fat and then stopped using the bike.  It was kind of a chicken and an egg thing”

Caller: “Oh…well…”

Me: “What’s the matter sir, did-cha-get-fat?”

Caller: “Ahhhh, wellll….” (I’m thinking he was leaning towards yes)

Me: “Don’t worry, I think I can fix any bike that you have”

Caller: “Well, I didn’t get *that* fat” Me - (OOoh  you’re making this too easy)

Me: “How much weight did you gain, sir?”

Caller: “maybe 30 lbs, it was a side-effect of medication”

Me: “Oooooouuuuuu, that’s actually quite a bit of weight, especially if you didn’t re-enforce the frame”

Caller: “Oh, I didn’t do thaaaat”

Me: “Oh you should have, that’s going to cost extra”

Caller: “So how much am I looking at?”

Me: “Let’s see…(pretending to add up numbers)…$942″

Caller: “Are you kidding me?”

Me: “Yes. I’m honestly kidding you.”

Caller: “What? Huh? Can I speak to a manager?”

Me: “No, err, I mean, I am the manager, sir”

Caller: “Are you serious?”

Me: “I told you already, I was honestly kidding you”

Caller: “What?”

Me: “I told you, you asked if I was kidding, I *SAID* ‘yes’ ”

Caller: Silent…”Ummm…” Click.